Lately, I've been doing a lot of searching into how to train up my children to be Christian leaders. The more I look into what it takes the more I realize that a great part of raising good leaders is being a good leader. Now I realize that some of you may be thinking that not every child is a leader and I agree, but every person can influence others, whether good or bad and if my children grow up to be parents they will be leaders. So what is the best way to teach them to lead their households in a Godly manner? Well there are many things, and what I mention here are just a few of the things needed to successfully teach them.
First, I must model the type of person that I want my children to grow up to be like. I can not demand something from my children that I am not willing to model. To teach my children the fruits of the spirit I must practice them myself. Self control, patience and kindness are fruits that I really focus on teaching in my home, so these must be my focus as well.
Handling conflict is another thing a leader needs to learn how to handle appropriately. I received some great input from a Sunday School class I'm leading taught by Tommy Nelson on the Song of Solomon. It is good advice for couples as well as parents. I will share his list of things you should never do while in conflict with your spouse and see if you notice, like me, how much this relates to parents as well. The notes in ( ) are mine.
1. Never raise your voice in your home.
2. Never embarrass your mate in public. (or your child)
3. Never quarrel before the children. (or before siblings)
4. Never use the kids to win an argument.
5. Never talk about your spouse outside of your marriage. (always be careful who you share things with)
6. Never use sex to win. (n/a)
7. Never touch in anger. (Never, never, never!!!)
8. Never call names.
9. Never get historical and call into account a wrong suffered.
10. Never stomp out. (that's what I would expect from a 7 year old girl, not an adult)
11. Never freeze your mate out. (or your child)
12. Never use the in-laws. (n/a)
13.Never reason in the face of pain. (don't discount your child's feelings because they are a child, they have feelings too)
14. Never let the sun go down on your wrath and give the devil an opportunity.
15. Never reverse an argument.
16. Never fail to listen to your mate. (or your child. Always be willing to listen to wise counsel even if it comes from your child)
17. Never harden yourself toward your spouse. (or child)
Maybe I'll continue more on this topic another time. I like to keep my posts short, because I want you to read them. This is something I feel really passionate about and there's more to share, but for now I'll stop here. Hope this has been helpful and I pray that we are all open to improving ourselves by taking wise counsel. I know that being a mother has made me a better person, I pray the same is true for you. Blessings :)